Ranting
by Laera Draconian
Summary: AU. Oneshot for now. Sora gets detention and decides to deal with it in an intersting way. not my best work, be warned.


Title: Unstable

Category: Kingdom Hearts/ Humour

Disclaimer: I owe them not, for they belong to another (swears violently)

(AN: This is a little thing I did when I didn't want to do my homework and I was feeling more than little anti-school. AU, kinda lame, enjoy. If You like it then review. If not well...thats understandable.)

Chapter One

"Why? Just tell me why and I'll shut up for the rest of the day Riku, I promise!" Sora groaned at his annoyed friend earnestly. At his words, Riku glared at him from under his eyelids with undisguised irritation.

"You said that ten minutes ago baka. Now live up to your word and leave me alone!" He shot back at the brunette.

Sora, Riku and Kairi had been sitting in the crowded and noisy cafeteria for fifteen minutes and already the other two were ready to duct tape Sora's lips together. He was just going and going and quite frankly, there wasn't much more that either Riku or Kairi could take. The silver haired boy bent his head back to his chicken soup and attempted to take a bite, but before the spoon even left the bowl his friend was already yapping at the top of his voice again. He dropped it with a clatter and small splash before lifting his head to glare at the red head sitting opposite him.

"I mean, where does he get off giving me detention? All I did was tell him the truth. Fucking teacher…" Kairi looked as though she was ready to strangle him. Looking up, she shot a dirty look back at Riku. Leaning across the table, she whispered, "Why did you allow this to happen? You know how he gets! All you had to do was give him your homework before class." The boy winced as Sora pounded the table sending little flecks of hot soup dancing across his skin painfully. Taking a deep breath with obvious effort, Riku replied in kind, "I was going to, but then that prick Leon had to go all gaga for the teacher and keep me back a whole ten minutes trying to convince him not to cut class."

"Anyone I know?" A deep voice cut in as three trays slid onto the table beside them. Kairi jumped and looked up. Speak of the devil, she thought with an amused look as Leon, Yuffie and Wakka materialized into the seats next to them. Yuffie was staring at Sora with an unnaturally dangerous look in her eyes.

"Is he still pissed at..?" Riku nodded as Sora launched another tirade for his new audience. "Waaayyy…." Wakka stared in awe at the display for a moment before resuming his conversation with Yuffie. Ignoring them, Riku turned back to Kairi.

"Yeah, thanks to this idiot we now have to deal with this for the rest of the week." He continued, jerking a finger at Leon.

"Stupid teachers! I hate them, especially _that_ one." Sora practically shouted. Half the cafeteria was now listening avidly to his vivd presentation on the flaws of the education system and Riku's stomach was beginning to growl in a rather intimidating manner. Now his head was hurting from the incessant banter. Glancing at his watch, he almost groaned. Sora had robbed him of twenty-five minutes of lunch time and it was getting to him. Leon looked up at the aggrieved boy with interest.

"Hey Riku," he started, "Who is he ranting about?" Wakka and Yuffie stopped their discussion of the exact colour of eggs long enough to snort into their respective lunch trays disbelievingly. Kairi looked wary. Riku ignored him.

"No really, who?" He asked again but as it became clear that Riku was obviously more interested in counting the specks on the table, he turned to Kairi. "Well? What happened in your class?" The red head looked moody. "I don't want to tell you." She replied, covering her left ear in a half-hearted attempt to shut out Sora's detailed lesson in harassment to anyone who would listen. Leon frowned at her, and after a moment of her unsuccessful attempts at looking like she had something better to do, she relented.

"Well, Sora got detention."

"No shit." Wakka added with a smirk. Leon grinned into his tuna sandwich as he took a bite and motioned for her to continue.

"From Mr. Strife."

Leon choked as his cheeks flushed bright red. Yuffie hastily patted his back as he coughed uncontrollably. Yep, thought that would happen, Kairi grimly confirmed, turning back to her spaghetti and stabbed it moodily. She had given up on trying to eat during Sora's little episodes back when they were in primary school and he had dumped half the front lawn on her desk in an effort to prove that ants really did care enough about his homework to break it up into little pieces and carry it away.

"One hundred and forty seven…hundred and forty eight…" She heard Riku muttering on the opposite side of the table. "And as for that old hag Rinoa, I say we protest against excessive use of make up!" Sora shouted as he stood to rapturous applause. Next to him, Riku looked up hopefully as the irate boy began to pace with vigor.

"I mean, sure it's alright for Jecht to do whatever the hell he wants, he's the goddamn principal for crying out loud! But the rest of them have got to pull their heads out of their as-"

Kairi growled in protest and stuffed her fingers into her ears. She threw a piteous look at Riku but was surprised to see him with an eager expression on his face. With a strangely triumphant look, he scooped up a spoonful of his soup and brought it to his lips.

"Don't you agree Riku?" Sora yelled as he swung an arm over his friend's shoulders energetically. Leon automatically lifted his tray as the boy's spoon clattered across the length of the table and onto the floor.

"No." He groaned in reply, dropping his gaze to the specks on the table again.

"See? Even Riku thinks so! I think a protest is in order…"

The disappointed boy closed his eyes in disbelief and clenched his fingers. His right eyebrow twitched erratically. Kairi resisted the urge to bang her head into the desk. It was amazing, she thought suddenly, at the way Yuffie and Wakka were able to ignore the commotion their friend was stirring up. Turning slightly their way and pulling her fingers out of her ears, she tried to see what they were discussing.

"Ya know, I really think that humans are some sort of sub species of poultry." Wakka grimly stated.

"Yeah, I mean think about it," Yuffie eagerly continued, "They eat corn, we eat corn…"

"Mhm, and the size of an egg is roughly the size of a guy's ba-"

Kairi grit her teeth in anguish and replaced her fingers. Mad, they were all mad! With an irritated look at the lot of them, she stood quickly and, ignoring the questions, walked the shortest distance to the exit of that madhouse. She turned around before she left and was just in time to see Sora slide the trays of food off the table. With a growl, Riku jumped to his feet and tackled the shorter boy. She winced as the scores of students shouted and screamed, eager for a fight. Ordinarily she would have been concerned, but this time she would just let them deal with it their way. Shaking her head she stalked out the cafeteria. Straight into something tall and hard.

"Watch it kid." Mr. Strife growled at her as she stepped back muttering apologies. "You're lucky you're not in there," He gestured to the closed doors behind her from which a hell of a lot of noise was escaping, "Or you'd be in as much trouble as your friends are about to be." Confused, she looked at him strangely.

"About to be? Sora was in trouble before wasn't he?" She asked tentatively.

"Hn? No, he wasn't. It was that girl, what was her name..? Selphie? The one that was passing notes in class that got detention." He returned her look with a reproving stare but decided the noise was a lot more pressing a matter. Nodding good day to her, he walked through the doors of the cafeteria leaving a very amused Kairi staring at the back of his head.


End file.
